Cities are experiencing dynamic development in business, education and infrastructure, but within the same city, there are some faces whose lives have neither activity nor plans for the future. A large number of those who are homeless, especially in old age, are now forced to leave their families and live a lifeless life within the walls of old age homes.
Seventy-year-old Indira Subedi has been sheltering at the Ramjanaki Shanti Old Age Home in Itahari for the past 14 years. Her face reflects regret, disappointment, anger and frustration at not being able to do anything in life.
Her gaze is always focused on the people walking on the streets outside. Looking at those people, she said, “I got married at a young age, gave birth to a son at the age of 20. The atmosphere of happiness at home was different. There was also a small tea shop and a vegetable shop near the house. I would take my son with me to the shop in the morning, and when I returned home in the evening, the house would be different.’
‘But time is also cruel and cruel. My son passed away at the tender age of eleven months. Shortly after my son’s death, another thunderstorm struck, and my husband also passed away. After my husband passed away, I was left without support, and finally I ended up in an old age home,’ she said, recounting her past.
Initially, I didn’t know what an old age home was like. I had lost my parents when I was young, and after my husband passed away, I had no one to support me, I was alone. Some relatives of my acquaintances always told me to go and live in an ashram. I have come to the old age home and am staying there, Subedi said.
She went on to say, “I have forgotten what my family was like. Some relatives come to visit me sometimes,” she said. After starting to live in the old age home, it feels like my family now. There are good facilities to stay, daily life is easy, and now the ashram is dear to me.
The Ramjanaki Shanti Old Age Home, where 17 elderly people currently live, was opened in Itahari in 2056 BS. With the increasing trend of living apart from family in the name of adopting a modern lifestyle, it has also been found that the elderly are becoming homeless.
Although social psychology considers old age homes unnecessary, current social reality is pointing to the need for old age homes and they are becoming shelters for the elderly. Similarly, the story of 81-year-old Sarita Gautam, who lives in Birateshwor Old Age Home in Biratnagar, is similar to that of Indira Subedi. She said that she has been living in an old age home for the past 28 years.
‘I worked as long as I could, raised my children. I gave them education. Now, those same children act as if they don’t know me. I spent my life for my children and my children. But now those same children have acted as if they were waiting, there is no love or respect,’ she said.
Not only pain, but also anguish were clearly visible in Gautam’s eyes. After coming to the ashram, there is peace and happiness. But the heartache is still there. Speaking openly, Gautam said, ‘This is a home, but where is the sense of belonging? My children have created their own world. Everyone forgot about me. In the end, my own children brought me to the ashram. Love was only in childhood. Now everyone is busy and old people like us have become useless,’ she said, expressing her pain.
‘After my husband’s death, I lived for my children. I made all the arrangements for their education and marriage. Now they neither call nor come to meet me. Now I don’t know where my children are. This ashram is like a beautiful home to me now,’ Gautam said, trying to share her happiness.
Similarly, 86-year-old Pavitra Subedi has been living in an old age home for the past 21 years. She has worked tirelessly for her children all her life, but now she is spending her days in a place where she is considered a stranger. Her eyes, which cannot speak clearly or see well, are now childless and looking at the sky outside on her old age home bed.
‘I was brought to the ashram after my own children could not take care of me. Sometimes my son comes to visit me. But I cannot see her face clearly. I remember sitting at home with my children and eating breakfast and dinner together,’ she expressed her heartache. Although there are many elderly people like me here, I try to chat with them and forget my mind. But there is no warmth like home, she said.
Recently, especially in urban areas, the need for old age homes has been increasing for the safety of the elderly from busy families and the elderly who have been deprived of their families for various reasons. Thagendra Prasad Acharya, chairman of Ramjanaki Old Age Home, said that the idea that it is better to live in an old age home than to live an unsafe and unregulated life at home is becoming established in society today. This is not a good thing, but social events and circumstances have increased the need, he said.
The local and provincial governments are providing subsidies for such ashrams from time to time, from midday meals to money. Some time ago, after the construction of a truss with Rs. 900,000 provided by the provincial government, the problem of water leakage in the Ramjanaki Old Age Home during the rain has been solved. Acharya said that the central government is also providing good support for running the ashram.
Jagat Aryal, who opened and has been running the Birateshwor Old Age Home Service Committee in 2060 BS after retiring from teaching, expressed concern over the recent increase in the number of elderly people becoming homeless. I have established and run this ashram so that I can serve the elderly so that they can spend their days with dignity and peace, he said. More than 60 elderly people are currently taking shelter in this ashram.
Santosh Ojha, a member of the board of directors of Itahari Ramjanaki Shanti Old Age Home, said, “The intimacy that the elderly are looking for can only be found in the love of the family. Mothers here need a lot of love. You cannot get that in an old age home.” A temple and meditation center have been built in the ashram to boost the morale of the mothers staying at Ramjanaki Ashram.
According to the details of the Ministry of Social Development of Koshi Province, the number of senior citizens in Koshi Province is 556,464, or 11.22 percent of the province. The Ministry of Social Development has stated that the provincial government is giving priority to senior citizens in its policies, programs and budget. The Ministry of Social Development and the local level are allocating a budget of 10.8 million rupees for senior citizens in the fiscal year 2081.82.
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